Becoming a new mom is a life-changing experience, filled with moments of pure joy and, yes, a fair share of challenges. The fourth trimester, those first few months after your baby arrives, can be a whirlwind of emotions, sleep deprivation, and a steep learning curve. But don’t worry—you’re not alone. Here are some essential, new mom survival tips to help you navigate this special time with a little more confidence and calm.
#1 – Trust your gut.
You’ll hear a lot of advice—some of it conflicting—from well-meaning friends, family, and even strangers. While it’s great to be open to suggestions, remember that you know your baby better than anyone else. Trust your instincts when it comes to your baby’s needs, whether it’s feeding, sleep, or just soothing them. You’re doing a great job, even when you feel unsure.
#2 – Accept help (and ask for it!) without guilt.
It’s tempting to try to do everything yourself, but remember, motherhood isn’t a solo sport. When friends or family offer to help with meals, errands, or even just holding the baby so you can take a shower, say yes! Don’t be afraid to put your visitors to work. You’ll actually find they enjoy knowing they were able to do something practical to support you during this time. Keep a written to-do list handy so when someone asks what they can do to help, you can hand them the list and ask them to pick something. Accepting help doesn’t make you any less of a super mom—it just makes you a smart one. Building a support system around you is key to keeping your sanity intact.
#3 – Be a team with your partner.
Don’t make the mistake of doing it all! Because guess what will happen in a few months time… you will be the one doing it all! And that’s not a recipe for new mom survival. Also, dads can feel a little redundant in the fourth trimester if you’re breastfeeding, so be sure to share the load with easy jobs they can do to support you. They’ll want to help you — but sometimes it can be hard to know what you need, so tell them. Hint: utilize the to-do list above for dad too.
#4 – Take one day at a time.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed thinking about the future, especially when you’re in the thick of sleep deprivation and uncertainty. Try to focus on just getting through today. Celebrate the small wins, like finally getting a shower or managing a successful outing with the baby. Every day won’t be easy, but every day brings new learning and new joys.
#5 – Embrace the chaos.
The house may not be as clean as it used to be, and you might find yourself wearing the same comfy clothes for days. That’s okay! Lower your expectations for what “normal” looks like in these early days. Focus on bonding with your baby and taking care of yourself. This is a short season, and before you know it, you’ll find a new rhythm. Give yourself grace as you figure out this new normal.
#6 – Rest whenever you can.
You’ve probably heard it before, but sleep when the baby sleeps. It can be hard to turn off the urge to tidy up the house or catch up on your to-do list, but rest is crucial for your physical and emotional recovery. If sleep isn’t possible, at least find a way to relax—read a few pages of a book, listen to calming music, or simply close your eyes for a bit. Resting will help recharge your batteries for the next round of diaper changes and feedings.
#7 – Let the baby sleep in your room.
Speaking of rest, it might seem counterintuitive, but you’ll get more of it if you let the baby sleep in your room. Your little one has existed for nine months in the comfort of your womb, feeling your feels, hearing every heartbeat, all tight and compact and safe. So it makes sense that when you place them in (what feels like) a gigantic empty crib space to sleep they are not going to exactly feel it. There is plenty of time to transition to their own room once they grow and your little one has “woken up” to their surroundings. At this stage, when your babe is feeding, sleeping and not accomplishing much else, just be kind to yourself. With the maternally exhausting 2-hour feed schedules of the newborn phase (that eventually pushes out to a much more respectable 3-4 hour feeds), just remember to be kind to yourself and save your steps! You don’t want to be pulling the body that is still recovering from birth in between bedrooms if you don’t have to.
#8 – Nourish your body.
It’s easy to forget about your own needs when your whole world revolves around a tiny human. But remember, you’re still healing and need energy, especially if you’re breastfeeding. Try to keep healthy snacks like nuts, yogurt, and fresh fruits within reach. Hydrate often—keeping a big water bottle nearby can make it easier to remember to drink up. A well-nourished mom is a happier, more resilient mom.
#9 – Find your village.
Motherhood can feel lonely, especially during those 3 a.m. feedings. Connecting with other new moms who are going through similar experiences can make a world of difference. (The keywords here are “going through similar experiences.” Know who understands new moms best? Other new moms.) Look for local mom groups (like New Mom School!), baby classes, or online communities where you can share your highs and lows, ask questions, and just vent when you need to. Finding your village can provide invaluable emotional support and help you feel less alone on this journey.
#10 – Don’t downplay your mental health.
Adjusting to life with a new baby can be overwhelming, and sometimes it’s more than just “baby blues.” If there’s one new mom survival tip you should prioritize over all others, this is it. If you find yourself feeling persistently sad, anxious, or unable to enjoy moments with your baby, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Postpartum depression and anxiety are common – up to 85% of new moms experience some sort of postpartum distress! You’re not alone in feeling this way. Talking to a therapist or reaching out to a support group can make all the difference in your well-being. If you’re currently struggling, the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is free, confidential, and there to help, 24/7. You can call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA to talk to an expert.
P.S. If you’ve found yourself wishing there was a “cheat sheet” for helping you survive life with a newborn… you’re in luck! We’ve created exactly that. We’ve taken our 10+ years of experience (and the feedback from HUNDREDS of moms in our classes) and compiled the Ultimate Newborn Checklist.
It includes helpful advice and checklists on topics including:
- Newborn Essentials
- Nursery Checklist
- Big-Ticket Items (worth the investment)
- Pre-Baby Self Care
- Hospital Bag Must-Haves
- Postpartum Care and Preparation
Grab our free e-book now by following this link.