Did you ever imagine exactly what sleep deprivation feels like? Did you expect to feel more tired than ever before?
More irritable than during your worst PMS episode? Often angry at your partner for no good reason at all? And annoyed beyond all possibility by everyone around you (including your sweet, new baby) and just generally hating life? Yeah, me neither! Welcome to parenthood … where the rubber meets the road and restful sleep is left in the dust!
Sleep deprivation is serious business and unlike anything you could have prepared for. It’s one of the main causes of postpartum depression and anxiety.
It can lead to a significant lack of patience, irrational thinking, tension within relationships, an overall feeling of irritability, and other challenges as well. Your most important goal when it comes to sleep is to work toward getting at least one 5-7 hour stretch of sleep PER WEEK. Just one. That’s all you need to feel like a new woman and function in a rational state of mind. Well, as rational as it gets with a newborn and little sleep. This “new normal” demands a lot of a new mom.
Trust me when I say, “Surrender to it.” You’re not doing anyone any favors by trying to fight nature. The reality is that babies don’t function on a schedule and the more we try to force them to live on ours, the more stress we bring upon ourselves. The more stress we feel, the more anxiety follows and the less we sleep …. even when we have the chance to, thereby putting a wrench in the task of Operation: Get Some Sleep.
Fear not. I have 3 powerful tips to help you get more sleep with a newborn.
#1 – TAKE SHIFTS
Oftentimes, the way to accomplish getting a chunk of sleep is by assigned shifts with your partner at night.
Maybe not every night, but at least 1-2 nights per week. It’s absolutely critical to your health and the health of your baby. For example, if your partner likes to go to bed early and wakes up in a good mood, put him on the morning shift with the baby from 3am-7am while you get a good chunk of sleep. He could even take a shift from 6pm – 8pm while you take a nap before your night shift! Then you’re on duty until 3am which isn’t going to be non-stop, but, chances are, you’ll be waking every 1-2 hours to feed the baby.
#2 – PLAN AHEAD
Isn’t it daunting to get out of the house first thing in the morning with a baby? There’s feeding the baby; packing the diaper bag; getting the baby dressed; changing the poo-nami (AKA diaper blow-out); and scrambling to eat something yourself only to find it’s time to feed the baby all over again! Or you preemptively set an alarm to wake before the baby just to prepare everything when you’d much rather be sleeping yourself? Rather than the morning madhouse, think about what’s involved to get out of the house in the morning and plan ahead the day or night before so you can get that extra sleep in the morning when your baby takes his/her morning nap. Pack the diaper bag before bed so that once the baby’s been fed, changed, and you’re dressed, you can head right out the door. (This is a great task for hubby to do so you each share the responsibilities for what’s involved to get out of the house – a win-win!) Make sure you have healthy snacks in the diaper bag, too, for when you don’t have time to eat before leaving. This way you know you’ll at least have something to nosh on while on the go.
#3 – REST WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS
I’ll never tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps, because that’s usually impossible. If you can close your eyes and go to sleep in a flash, do it, but if not, at least REST when the baby sleeps. So this means that when the baby is AWAKE, grab whatever you can to fill your tummy (yes, cold leftover pizza and cookies from the night before counts as breakfast right now); fold the laundry while baby is lying on a blanket in front of you; wash bottles while baby is in a bouncer or having floor time next to you; or respond to a few emails one- handed while feeding the baby. It’s actually amazing how much we learn to do with one hand. Basically, take care of your tasks while baby is awake so that when baby goes down for a nap, you can lie down and take a break. This is a great time to catch up on all of your reality TV or other shows you’ve been wanting to binge watch on Netflix, or to read those People magazines that are piling up by the front door. Oftentimes, this will help you doze off for a quick snooze. Maybe even use the time to talk to a friend you’ve been missing or catch up on social media (but only encouraging stuff!)
There you have it! These three sleep-catcher steps will make a world of difference on the homefront.
Even though the newborn phase feels as though it’ll never end, I’m here to assure you that it will pass and it will get better and better! But, in the meantime, grab as many ZZZZs as you can.