Go ahead, say, “I don’t know what that is”
Gilbert co-owner, Jacquie Koopman, shares 2 key lessons from her experience as a first time mom attending the New Mom School in Newport, CA
I walked into my first class like I was moving into my college dorm for 4 years. I had bags and bags and bags, and oh yeah, a baby in a carrier. I had a huge water bottle with a big ole straw in it to keep me hydrated for breastfeeding that I shoved right into the side pocket of my diaper bag. (This was before Stanley’s ladies, and before they made those cute pop-up straws that don’t leak) So as I bent forward to set all my stuff down, all my water came pouring out of the straw, down the bag, down all my clothes and all over the floor. Literally all over. Did I mention this was a BIG water.
Before I even could ask or turn around for help, Mahri, program manager for Newport at the time and now Director of Franchise Operations came running over with two diapers in her hands. I was confused, but very open to anything at this point. She immediately calmed me down and started cleaning up all the water on the floor with the 2 open diapers and said “most absorbent thing I know”. She would be correct. It worked! I also fully believed at that point (and even more so now) that Mahri was made of pure magic.
I heard another mom ask the mom next to her, “Is that the Uppa?” “Omg yes! I love it”
Uppa? Sup with you? I had no clue what they were talking about, was this her shirt? The diaper bag, oh oh … she’s pointing to the car seat carrier. Got it. It didn’t fully make sense until I walked out at the end of class to the stroller parking down the hall and saw a row of lightweight, sleek, minimal strollers, next to my massive classic heavy duty Graco. I felt like I was driving a diesel next to these Teslas. I felt like everyone else had gotten a pamphlet on “here’s what to buy for your baby… the best gear”, and somehow that missed my house. But that Graco and I are still best friends (I did get myself a fancy stroller for my second child and went right back to my original stroller because it’s what worked for me, what I knew best, and felt comfortable in).
Lesson 1 – Some gear is all the rage for a reason, because it does solve some problem really well, or gives you a great mom hack to make your life easier, but sometimes it’s all about preference. Don’t let comparison be the thief of joy in what works for you. Baby gear can be overwhelming, not to mention expensive, so don’t let it be yet another point of anxiety, FOMO is a real thing, but let me tell you, at the end of the day, your baby is not going to get to kindergarten and have anyone ask, “what stroller were you pushed in”, in fact the teachers can’t even tell, “oh yep, he’s for sure a Doona baby”. Nope. At the end of the day, it’s you and your baby only, find what works.
In that same first class, I overheard a conversation with moms who were saying “yeah, I did Taking Cara Babies” “oh yeah I’m on the 6-9-3-6 plan” and my stomach sank. I wasn’t on any plan, what was this taking Cara who program!? I felt like again, I had missed some memo because 1) I didn’t even know what they were talking about and 2) I didn’t have my own plan.
Speaking of context clues ….
Fast forward a couple weeks in the curriculum, the topic was “The Postpartum Body”. So naturally, I was very confused when Alex said, “today we will be talking about pelvic floor …” floors? And bodies? My actual thought: “What is a pelvic floor, is it a new kind of luxury vinyl plank? Tile maybe? I don’t think it sounds like carpet.” And man am I glad I didn’t ask that question out loud, because if there is in fact such a thing as a stupid question. It would be that one.
You guys, I considered myself a well educated gal. But no amount of masters degree or university can prep you for how honest you get in talking about the female anatomy once you have a baby – it’s all out there. For those of you who can appreciate this humor or don’t know this, I am also a brunette, so I couldn’t even say I was having a blonde moment.
In fairness, my husband and I were recently married and bought our first condo that was a total fixer upper, so I was coming off of remodeling our actual, physical, under your feet, floors.
Learning Lesson 2 – It’s okay to ask, “what is that?” And if you’re the one talking, don’t assume everyone knows what you’re talking about or use terms or acronyms. It’s helpful to levelset or nicely explain what you’re talking about in context.