By: Guest Writer, Merav Goldman

You get a lot of advice when you are pregnant.  Of those never-ending jewels of wisdom hurled at you most can be forgotten as quickly as they are said to you.  Every once in a while there is one, sometimes said in passing, that sits there and grows like your little one and then reveals itself as a most impactful point of perspective.

I got one of those pieces of advice, while waiting for an elevator after a large staff meeting.  As we stood there, waiting to return to the privacy of our offices, a male colleague who had known me since I had started at that job a 20 something year old single young professional, turned to me and said:

“Don’t worry if it’s not love at first sight, the love will come.”

He then went on to tell me that I should especially share this advice with my husband since his might take even longer to grow.

I have moved onto many different things since that conversation. That brief conversation meant to kill time while waiting for the elevator has resonated if not thundered through me for years.  Whether I would have felt differently when my children were born is unknown since the seed of that comment was already planted.

I felt connected to my children when they were born.  That was my truth. I had carried them for 40 weeks, I had pushed them out of my body and I held them in my arms seconds after.  Can I say I loved them then, in that moment, I am not sure. Can I say I love them now, at 5 and 2. Without. A. Doubt. As I write this and I think about them I begin to tear up and I feel a swell in my chest at the amount of love I have for them.  That love took time to grow, like they did within me.

I have heard the statement that “the days are long, but the years are short”.  It’s the truest statement I have ever heard about parenthood. There is so much pressure before they are even born to be a certain way, make certain choices and the bottom line is that it’s hard for everyone.  It might not be hard in the same way, but hard nonetheless.

I am now one of those people, hurling advice at pregnant women. I give the one piece of advice I found most comforting in this enormous unknown journey of parenthood. It brought out of me and my husband a deep and surprising moment of calm in the chaos. And I share it with all of you now.

“Don’t worry if it’s not love at first sight, the love will come.”