In a culture obsessed with individualism, moms are constantly told that self-care is the answer to their burnout. But as Diana Spalding eloquently points out in a viral essay for *Motherly*, self-care alone cannot fix the overwhelming burnout mothers experience daily.
There’s no bubble bath that will silence the constant hum of anxiety. No girls’ weekend that can undo the isolation of the postpartum period, and no glass of wine that can heal the exhaustion that comes from juggling motherhood, career, and household responsibilities. If any of this resonates with you, you’re not alone. The *2023 State of Motherhood* survey by *Motherly* found that nearly half of moms feel frequently or always burned out.
Spalding writes: “Society is asking you to nurture in an environment that does not nurture you back.” This isn’t a problem that can be solved by individual acts of self-care. Rather, it’s a societal failure—one that puts the burden of care on moms while withholding the support they need.
This cultural burnout isn’t caused by individual failures; it’s a product of a society that doesn’t adequately support mothers. What we need is not another suggestion to take a bath or schedule a weekend away. We need real change—a community effort to support moms in tangible ways, from paid family leave to affordable childcare.
As we wait for those long overdue societal changes, here are 7 tips for deeper self-care.
#1 – Set Boundaries with Confidence
Learn to say “no” to things that drain your energy. Prioritize what matters most, and don’t feel guilty about setting boundaries with family, work, or even social engagements.
#2 – Ask for Help
You don’t have to do it all alone. Whether it’s asking your partner to take on more responsibility, reaching out to friends for support, or hiring help, remember that asking for assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness.
#3 – Reconnect with Your Passions
Rediscover what makes you feel alive outside of motherhood. Whether it’s a hobby, a creative pursuit, or a personal project, make time to nurture your interests and identity beyond being a mom.
#4 – Create a Support Network
Surround yourself with people who understand your journey. Join mom groups, reach out to friends, or even find online communities where you can share your struggles and triumphs. Our founder and CEO, Alex Spitz has an intimate understanding of this need.
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New Mom School is the perfect place to find your lifeline and was created specifically to fill this cultural gap. We are on a mission to fundamentally change how new moms are cared for–and it’s long overdue. Check for classes in your area and join us to get the support you deserve.
#5 – Prioritize Mental Health
Mental health is as important as physical health. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider therapy, counseling, or even guided meditation to help process and manage stress. Seeking professional help can be a game-changer.
#6 – Make Space for Stillness
Find moments of peace in your day, even if they’re brief. Whether it’s through mindfulness, journaling, or simply taking a quiet moment for yourself, creating space for reflection can rejuvenate your mind and soul.
#7 – Release the Idea of Perfection
Embrace the messy, imperfect nature of motherhood. Perfection is unattainable, and trying to reach it only adds pressure. Give yourself grace, knowing that you are doing your best, and that is enough.
By integrating these deeper forms of self-care, moms can move toward feeling more supported, connected, and whole. It’s about reclaiming your space, your energy, and your well-being in a world that often asks too much.